Putting yourself on the list (without the guilt trip)

A note from Mik

Mik Simons

Founder, Make Good Choices

Hey friends

This month's been a lot. Some heavy family health news landed early, work hasn't let up, and life kept moving whether I was ready for it or not. Somewhere in the middle of it I caught myself doing the exact thing I tell you not to do: quietly pushing my own needs to the bottom of the list because everyone else's felt more urgent.

So that's what this month is about. Putting my hand up for what I actually need, without turning it into a big confrontation and hopefully making it a little easier for you to do the same.

You're one of 3 million

The stats in this section were researched with AI assistance, then checked and reviewed by Mik before this went out.

If that's you, this next bit might land harder than the rest of the newsletter.

In a 2024 survey of Australian carers, 92% said they regularly put their own needs aside because of their caring role. Not occasionally. It's 61% who said they do it constantly. That's not a personality trait. That's nearly everyone doing this at once, a whole slice of the country quietly running on empty because someone else's needs always seem to come first.

What landed this month

• "Three things to say instead of 'let me know if you need anything.'" This one turned into the biggest thing we've put out all year. It was saved and shared everywhere. Turns out this was never really about finding better words. It was about following through and showing up without making someone spell out what they need when they don't have the capacity to ask.
• Small tools for when everything piles up at once. Not the big life-overhaul stuff, the "just one-thing-at-a-time" ways to get through a heavy week. These kept showing up in the comments and DMs more than almost anything else.
• Permission to put yourself first, without the guilt tour. Posts about being allowed to have limits and not needing a ten-minute apology to justify them — hit harder than I expected. You're clearly ready to stop over-explaining yourselves.

"I'm dropping dinner over on Tuesday, no need to reply."

— The line that kept getting repeated back to us

It's not just an MGC thing, either. The NRMA's 2025 wellbeing index found half of Australians wouldn't reach out for help even when they needed it, and 38% said it's because they didn't want to be a burden on someone else. That tracks with everything landing in our comments this month and with the carer stat above.

Tool of the month: one-line swaps for the apology essay

Next time you're about to say no to something and feel the apology essay building up, stop at one sentence. Pick whichever fits the moment:

New this month: the I Belong x MGC tee, now in white

New this month

Last month we told you about the I Belong x MGC collab — the tee I made with my mate Ali Orchard to mark the release of her book, The In-Between. This month it's back with an option a few of you asked for: the white colourway just landed, alongside the original black.

Same tee, same message with both our logos side by side, including MGC's new woman's face mark. If you've been waiting for a lighter option to layer into spring, this is it.

If anything about starting over or not quite feeling like you belong hits close to home, you don't have to sit with it alone. Lifeline: 13 11 14 | Beyond Blue: 1300 22 4636.

It's up on the site now — no pressure, just a shirt that means something if it does.

Shop the white I Belong x MGC tee